ADHD and Routines: A Flexible Approach for People Who Hate the Word 'Routine'
When it comes to managing ADHD, taking the time to create a routine can be an immensely helpful tool. Routines provide structure, reduce decision fatigue, and bring a sense of consistency to your daily life. When I bring up the importance of routines with my ADHD coaching clients, many of them express hesitation. They worry that routines might stifle their spontaneity and creativity, making them feel like they’re stuck following a rigid schedule. Many of them also think that their struggles with focus and motivation will prevent them from sticking to a routine, even if they initially find it helpful.
Whenever a client expresses hesitation about routine, I first make it a point to understand why they’re so against the idea of building a routine. I ask them questions like, "What about routines feels challenging or uncomfortable for you?" or "How do you think a routine might affect your daily life?" Then, after validating the reluctance to try something outside of their comfort zone, I teach my clients that there is absolutely a way to build flexibility, spontaneity, and creativity when crafting a routine. Routines aren’t about rigidity. They’re about freeing up the mental energy you spend deciding what to do each day so you can focus more on the things that truly matter to you.
We may not realize it, but we make thousands of decisions every day—from what to eat for breakfast to what clothes to wear, what route to take to work, and what task to work on first. The sheer volume of choices can be overwhelming and mentally exhausting, ultimately leaving us with little energy for the things that truly add meaning to our lives. The answer to this problem? Routine!
For people with ADHD, incorporating flexibility into routines is essential, as it helps maintain engagement and prevents burnout. By allowing room for adjustments and spontaneity, routines become more sustainable, adaptable to changing moods or circumstances, and ultimately more supportive of an ADHD-friendly lifestyle. Flexibility ensures that the routine works for you, rather than becoming another source of pressure or stress.
With all that being said, I wanted to share some tips I frequently share with my clients on how to build a routine that works for their lifestyle — and most importantly, how to make it stick.
Tips for Building and Sticking to a Routine
Remember: it takes time for a routine to feel instinctual or automatic. Setting up a routine require patience and a willingness to let yourself get frustrated throughout the process. Just because it’s hard in the beginning doesn’t mean it’s going to be hard forever. After all, the more consistently you do something, the more it becomes second nature—like tying your shoes or brushing your teeth. Routines can feel awkward or tedious at first, but over time, they’ll become automatic, requiring less effort to sustain.
Start Small. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a routine. When I help clients establish a routine, I encourage them to focus on one or two habits at a time. This can be tough for those eager to dive in—it may feel boring, restrictive, or like progress is too slow. However, pacing ourselves is key to avoiding burnout. Otherwise, we risk overwhelming ourselves and concluding too soon that routines aren’t effective. For example, if you feel like your mornings are too chaotic and scattered, instead of deciding to overhaul your entire morning routine all at once, how can you focus on just one specific aspect to improve? Maybe you want to start by setting out your clothes the night before or committing to spending 5-10 minutes reviewing your calendar after breakfast. Once you’ve been doing this consistently, add in something else. By focusing on small, manageable changes, you can gradually build a routine that feels more sustainable and less overwhelming, giving yourself a better chance to succeed and stay consistent.
Use visual cues. Out of sight, out of mind is a common ADHD struggle. I tell my clients to give themselves visual reminders of the habits they’re trying to build, no matter how silly or unnecessary they may feel. Hang a note on the door in bright red ink that reminds you to take your phone, keys, and wallet. Use a whiteboard to check off your morning must-do’s, like drinking water, brushing your teeth, taking your meds, and making your bed. Visual cues help you stay on track and reinforce your routine.
On a related note, many of my clients have shared that while they initially set effective visual cues (like a reminder on their Google calendar to meditate before bed), they eventually find themselves ignoring the reminders, and a once-consistent habit suddenly falls away. This is incredibly common, and it's easy to fall into the trap of listening to the inner critic that says you've failed. Instead of beating yourself up, try reframing the situation: Acknowledge that the visual cue worked for you at one time, but maybe it’s no longer as effective. Ask yourself, "What can I do differently now to get back on track?" This approach is far more productive and helps you adapt without self-judgment.
Track your progress. Seeing your progress is incredibly motivating. Whether it’s a habit tracker app, a journal, or simply crossing off tasks on a calendar, tracking your routine gives you a sense of accomplishment and helps you stay accountable.
ADHD thrives on novelty and stimulation, so a rigid, one-size-fits-all routine simply won’t cut it.
Instead, focus on building routines that structure your day while leaving room for the unexpected. By reducing decision fatigue, creating consistency, and allowing for flexibility, you’ll set yourself up for success without feeling trapped.
Remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. With time, effort, and a little self-compassion, your routine (and all the changes you make to it!) can help you feel more balanced and in control of your life.
Ready to take the first step? Start small, stay curious, and see how even the tiniest routines can transform your days.
If you're interested in one-on-one support for ADHD, feel free to email me at kiaramanosalvasphd@gmail.com or schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
